Self-respect
is a fundamental for a great life. If we lack self-respect we will be
insecure and strive to be someone we are not. To develop self-respect
means to cultivate the self confidence to deal with whatever life throws
at us. The following are some ways we can improve our self-respect.
Remember, self-respect comes from an inner belief and not an egoistic
feeling of superiority.
1. Be True to Yourself
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
Respect
is a fundamental for a great life.1. Be True to Yourself
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
A lot of us have heard about the Aretha Franklin song, R-E-S-P-E-C-T and it is pretty clear that she sounds like she could have been talking about the plight of modern women who are being asked to bear a brunt of the burden of childcare and domestic responsibilities while continuing to work a great deal outside of their homes. In fact, I remember growing up and waiting at home for my Mom to come back from work saying "Mummy, jolli jeevi", which - in my native language, essentially means "Mom + work = Life". I don't think I was the only child who was so possessive of his Mom, in fact, the slogan 'Family First' sounds trite, but I think that most of us generally have a soft spot for our Family members and there must be some kind of reason for this to be the case. At least I was blessed to be in a family with a Mother and Father who both did and still continue to sacrifice so much for their children, family members, and everyone they care about.
Who should we respect?
This brings me to my second song, albeit a bit lesser known one (so I'm including the lyrics) -it's called Risin' Above the Pack, by Andrew Mason the former music major from Northwestern who went on to become a bit of a developer and then started Groupon. I'm spending my 25th birthday writing this blog post and I am still working at Groupon so clearly there are some differences between myself and the man who 'managed over 12,000 people; most under the age of 25,' but my second boss actually started out in Sales as well and he started a similar company called HomePages (rivaling Yellow Pages) and my first boss started out flying up a corporate ladder and is now managing a huge online publication and my third boss started a non-profit as he was about to graduate college a few years ago and for all practical purposes is now retired. Where was I? Oh, the lyrics from Andrew Mason's song:
Now as you nurse that raging
Ambition
Don't make the mistake of believing
That management is the only road to the top of the company
Great individual contributors
Are every bit as valuable....
The next lyric reminds me of something that one of my favorite cousins told me:
You just gotta know yourself
There are all sorts of ladders here in this world and I'm not saying that climbing any kind of a ladder is a bad thing. Ladders that can allow us to acquire fame and prestige (climbing a hierarchy [corporate, military, religious, non-profit, academic]). I'm also not saying that we always have to love our work. I was just reading an article in a journal for academics that essentially opposed that idea which many PhD students tend to get married to. However, we all do need to find work that we like doing and isn't just something that can, so to speak, pay the bills. While we all know that all sorts of ladders exist here in the world we live in, I have felt like most of us also know what we value and whether there are right or wrong things to value and how to allocate our time and energy between those pursuits. Wait, where was I going? Oh yeah! Who should we respect? Even the previous lyrics that I included up here did not answer that question so I think that I will include some more lyrics from the gospel of Andrew Mason (since he has only written one album).
And his first song, Look no Further:
If you’re seeking business wisdom
You don’t need no MBA
Look no further than the beauty
That surrounds us every day
You don’t need no MBA
Look no further than the beauty
That surrounds us every day
Sometimes I feel that I am uncomfortable with my natural state so I try to compensate by doing something else. Maybe this blog is one of those things. How do you, dear reader, feel about this?
I actually think that each of the unique opportunities that I have been so fortunate to have (many of which I started out inadequate for) were all thrust into my lap by some kinda divine intervention. Even the job at Groupon that I now have - I was interning at one of the biggest dinner cruise company's corporate headquarters in Sales and Customer Service when one of my neighbors, who also happened to work with me invited me to a Fun concert and I invited one of my buddies from college who also served on the University of Illinois Board of Trustees. While we were listening to the song We are Young, my friend from college was telling me about someone he knew that worked at Groupon and I remembered that I actually applied to Yelp (among a slew of other jobs, which I single-mindedly believed that I could acquire because of how strongly I believed that everything can be intentionally learned and developed). That being said, this whole time, I knew what I should have done and I know what is expected of me but I did not pay enough attention to myself. As one of my most stand up cousin's once told me, the most important things in life are to be present and listen.
Which reminds me about one of my friend, Morgan's blogposts: "The Now", in my mind, refers the the present moment: your current life. So many (myself included) live in and for the future, rather than experiencing their life as it is. The danger of this is missing the beauty and joy of TODAY by living for tomorrow. I don't want to look back in 20 years and wish I'd embraced and enjoyed my 20s simply because I longed for marriage and children. This is one of the fundamental points of the Not Alone Series, but Life in the Gap emphasises more on this. You should check them out! I was profiled by them back in...December? Not sure.'
I read this quote from Mark Twain on this blog-post that reminded me about this:
Self-respect is a fundamental for a great life. If we lack self-respect we will be insecure and strive to be someone we are not. To develop self-respect means to cultivate the self confidence to deal with whatever life throws at us. The following are some ways we can improve our self-respect. Remember, self-respect comes from an inner belief and not an egoistic feeling of superiority.
To answer the question that I originally posed - who should I respect? I am just going to preach Matthew 7:12 since it's Holy Week, but this more popularly known in the secular world as the Golden Rule:
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ~ Mark Twain
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ~ Mark TwainRead more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ~ Mark Twain
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
Self-respect is a fundamental for a great life. If we lack self-respect we will be insecure and strive to be someone we are not. To develop self-respect means to cultivate the self confidence to deal with whatever life throws at us. The following are some ways we can improve our self-respect. Remember, self-respect comes from an inner belief and not an egoistic feeling of superiority.
To answer the question that I originally posed - who should I respect? I am just going to preach Matthew 7:12 since it's Holy Week, but this more popularly known in the secular world as the Golden Rule:
1. Be True to Yourself
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12
1. Be True to Yourself
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick and Harry or live your own life?
2. Learn to Handle Criticism
We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about ourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If their is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self respect.
3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion
Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smart for the right occasion gives us self confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving complements.
4. Avoid Jealousy
Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knocking the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than ourself. The trick to lasting self respect is to be happy through others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self worth.
5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results
Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self worth to the achievement of external targets. Self respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go badly don’t lose your self respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self respect from that.
6. Respect Others
If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.
7. Never Hate Yourself
We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing; but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.
8. Forgive
Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self worth to be determined by past mistakes.
9. Be Selfless
The way to self respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self respect, but, actually this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self respect is based on the praise of others then our self respect will be very tenuous. Self respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.
10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses
You will not be able to build self respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-respect/#xQe5Gwc1bgkUAmzM.99
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